in need of rainbows

Author: Haryana Sidin /

the numbness is gone
replaced.
by something more poignant
heartbreaking.
half of me wanted to reach for the phone and make that phone call
but the other half
decided that it is better this way
to let it go
to just let it be
no matter the cause.

sometimes i wish he knew
sometimes i wish that he's a mind reader
a heart reader.
but on other times
i wish he would just keep on thinking what he always thought of me
a self-centered friend who cared about nothing but herself.

would be easier that way no?

numbing effect

Author: Haryana Sidin /


i don't think he knows
how it felt
when he said
that i didn't care

i have always..
cared.

terhenti di sini

Author: Haryana Sidin /


sedangku membaca wajahmu
senyumanmu menggambarkan sesuatu
jika kau fahami isi hatiku
ku tak ingin waktu henti tanpamu

andai kau dapat memahami
bahawa ku menanggung semua ini
bukan niatku ingin kau pergi
kerna ku masih terhenti di sini

-Asfan-

put a bandage on it

Author: Haryana Sidin /

sometimes when you're in massive amount of pain,
all you need to do is smile
tell yourself that everything's gonna be fine
even when people around you is judging you for it
just smile.

and hope..
that it won't leave any permanent damage.

first time for everything

Author: Haryana Sidin /



I have a confession to make
I am a big sap
I cried watching The Young Victoria
every.single.time.
heck I even cried watching The Dark Knight
yeah.it's a Batman movie.so what?
I saw this animal abuse video once
Cried.
but I NEVER cried watching Bersamamu
or the videos of people suffering from never ending wars
of not having enough food to eat
of seeing little kids beside their mom's dead body
NEVER.
but this one.
my tears decided to make an exception.