in need of rainbows

Author: Haryana Sidin /

the numbness is gone
replaced.
by something more poignant
heartbreaking.
half of me wanted to reach for the phone and make that phone call
but the other half
decided that it is better this way
to let it go
to just let it be
no matter the cause.

sometimes i wish he knew
sometimes i wish that he's a mind reader
a heart reader.
but on other times
i wish he would just keep on thinking what he always thought of me
a self-centered friend who cared about nothing but herself.

would be easier that way no?

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numbing effect

Author: Haryana Sidin /


i don't think he knows
how it felt
when he said
that i didn't care

i have always..
cared.

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terhenti di sini

Author: Haryana Sidin /


sedangku membaca wajahmu
senyumanmu menggambarkan sesuatu
jika kau fahami isi hatiku
ku tak ingin waktu henti tanpamu

andai kau dapat memahami
bahawa ku menanggung semua ini
bukan niatku ingin kau pergi
kerna ku masih terhenti di sini

-Asfan-

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put a bandage on it

Author: Haryana Sidin /

sometimes when you're in massive amount of pain,
all you need to do is smile
tell yourself that everything's gonna be fine
even when people around you is judging you for it
just smile.

and hope..
that it won't leave any permanent damage.

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first time for everything

Author: Haryana Sidin /



I have a confession to make
I am a big sap
I cried watching The Young Victoria
every.single.time.
heck I even cried watching The Dark Knight
yeah.it's a Batman movie.so what?
I saw this animal abuse video once
Cried.
but I NEVER cried watching Bersamamu
or the videos of people suffering from never ending wars
of not having enough food to eat
of seeing little kids beside their mom's dead body
NEVER.
but this one.
my tears decided to make an exception.



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think.before you throw.

Author: Haryana Sidin /

when you're in a new relationship
everything is...nice.sweet.beautiful.
some might even say perfect.
everything felt right.
even when the other person tried to change who you are.
you would say to yourself
"give and take.that's what relationship is all about"

2 years after that, you'd say to yourself
"why am i doing all the giving?"
"why am i doing all the changes?"
"what about him?(or her?)"

and then you guys broke up.
and you're back to proudly being your old self.
trying desperately to show that you're having the time of your life.
being single and enjoying it.
you'd be chanting
"i'm single and i'm ready to mingle" to every single person you meet.

sure.that's the right thing to do.
when that other person was a jerk to you.

but what if the changes that you made.for that other person.
is actually good for you.
you become a better person because of it.
should you go back to being your old self?
just for the sake of protecting your ego?
just to show your ex that you're more than happy that you guys ended the relationship?

yes.you may adjust your life to being your single self
but why change all the good things?
payback?
do you really think that your ex will feel anything you want him/her to feel?
no.not really.
he/she would say
"phewwhh..bullet dodged."
"im better off."
"good riddance.definitely"

not all the changes that we made for our ex is a bad thing
sometimes, if we really think about it
we'll find that they actually really cared about us
that all the changes we made are really for our own benefits
you might even feel the urge to thank your ex
but don't.
because then you'll be stroking his/her ego
we wouldn't want that now do we?
:p

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TAK TIPU

Author: Haryana Sidin /

KALAU AKU BOLEH BUAT SEMUA
SERIOUS.
MEMANG AKU BUAT SEMUA.
SENANG CITE.

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